Jiunnli has left the building

My day started like any other. Stupid of me to not change my alarm from 0700 to 1000. I lie on my bed alittle longer than usual and I have this imaginary ‘to-do’ list in my head. Nope, nothing to look forward to today. Isn’t my typical Sundays mind you.

A calmness floated in the air while I try to force myself up from the bed but it disappears almost right away once I got up. I forgot. I had a bad night. I drag myself to the bathroom and stayed longer there.

As I sit on the toilet seat, I realized I have too many things on my mind these two days. I feel terrible, I feel horrible. One moment I was ok, and the next, I feel like I am drowning in a sea of cruel emotions. I did not know how to let others know of my feelings but yet desperately wanting them to know exactly how I feel.  

Tears welled up in my eyes but I refuse to let them flow.

I’ve always been the baby of the family and felt life revolves around me all the time. This behavior continues much to the annoyance to the people around me. Of course, I know this has got to stop as the imaginary crown on my head is slowly vanishing. Perhaps, it will come back if I promise to be a good princess?

The real struggle in me right now is not having what I wanted. It took me awhile to embrace this ‘syndrome’. Perhaps something I never dare to face.

I turn to my phone and dial my mum’s number. So nice to hear her assuring and gentle voice again even though it only lasted for 15 minutes. I rely a lot on the people close to me. Jared wasn’t around as he is leading worship in his church. Sister was around though but one can never get enough satisfaction through IM conversations.  

As I stare outside the window, I reminded myself to stay calm and collected and not make any dumb impulsive decisions that I will definitely regret later on. The weather was perfect today. It rained a little, and then it stops. Minutes later, it begins to rain again and before you knew it, the sun was up and shining away. It was quite fun actually. The sun accompanied me today by playing hide-and-seek and you can tell, she always wins.  

 I guess this is what life is like. It rains, it pours but the sun will eventually come out again and If you are lucky enough, you will spot a rainbow 🙂 

Back to stats.

 

6 Responses to “Jiunnli has left the building”

  1. I so have to agree with you on your saying: “I guess this is what life is like. It rains, it pours but the sun will eventually come out again and If you are lucky enough, you will spot a rainbow”.
    I know how you feel but hope your feeling better now 🙂
    Link me up also 🙂

  2. hey, nice to see you here =)
    yup, i am feeling better..
    thanks for the thoughts =)

  3. muahaha…this post is much more attractive than those previous ones!:P hehehe…keep it up!:D it caters to ppl like me, more visually inclined!haha

  4. haha ppl emoing you go say nice somemore..=P
    but anyway, you sure you meant the right post?
    visual ma..~this one got alot of words lehh..
    Anyway, come more often la..~ =)

  5. aaww… you poor girl.. we all feel this terrain of emotions every now and then. But keep your spirit high and be positive. Think of the nice things in life and how blessed you are!

  6. yeah, i am feeling better =)
    thanks btw, che, you sound like mum =P

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