Am I beautiful?


John and Stasi Eldredge

Chapter 3- Haunted by a Question


Super captivated by this book. Felt the need to want to share =) 

Eve was given to the world as the incarnation of a beautiful , captivating God- a life-offering, life saying lover, a relational specialist, full of tender mercy and hope. She brought strength to the world, not like men in a striving sharp-edged strength, instead she is inviting, alluring and captivating.

Women doubt very much that they have any genuine beauty to unveil. Put up a shield and get on with life. They hide in busyness, hide in church activities and hide in depression. Some may think there is nothing captivating about them.  Every girl asks one fundamental question.  Am I lovely? (I remembered looking into the mirror when I was a little girl, wearing my mum’s night dress, wanting to look like a princess. All I want is to feel pretty and beautiful, to be accepted and to feel worthy). This question- why haven’t we been able to find and rest in a wonderful, personal answer from our own heart?

The fall of Eve.

Eve was convinced by the serpent, convinced that God was holding out on her, convinced that she could not trust His heart towards her, convinced that in order to have the best possible life, she must take matters into her own hands. And so she did. She is the first to fall.


To be fair, Adam did not do anything about it.

Look careful into the curses God pronounced on both Adam and Eve. Adam is to suffer the thorns and thistles. The meaning is deeper and the implications are undeniable for every son of Adam. Man is cursed with futility and failure. Life is going to be hard for a man now in the place he will feel it most. Failure is a man’s worst fear.

What about Eve? The curse for Eve and all her daughters cannot be limited only to babies and marriage. Not so. The meaning here is also deeper and the implications are undeniable for every daughter of Eve. Woman is cursed with loneliness (relational heartache), with the urge to control (especially her man), and with the dominance of men.

When a man goes bad, what is deeply marred is his strength. He either becomes passive and weak or the other extreme, violent and aggressive. When a woman falls from grace, what is most deeply marred is her tender vulnerability, beauty that invites to life.  She becomes dominating, controlling or desolate, needy and mousy.

Like Eve, after she tasted the forbidden fruit, we women hide. We hide behind our makeup. We hide behind our humor. We hide behind our silences and punishing withdrawals. We hide our truest selves and offer only what we believe is wanted, what is safe and what is necessary. We will not risk rejection or looking like a fool. We will not repeat the same mistakes again.

To hide means to remain safe, to hurt less. At least that is what we think.

Every women knows now that she is not what she was meant o be. And she fears that soon it will be known- if it hasn’t already been discovered- that she will be abandoned. That is woman’s worst fear- abandonment.

Everything written above is from the book. Go read it yourself if you want to get ahead of me ok? =)

2 Responses to “Am I beautiful?”

  1. hey…wat a good one..haha!c u during new year

  2. heya alan, i miss you guys =P
    Need to talk to you ppl soon =)

    Yeah all of it are from the book ‘captivating’ that i am reading now. Some part i paraphrase nia. I find them very true =)

    see you this cny!

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