My fiasco

You know you are  getting really bored when you start playing all those mindjolt games on FB. I’ve been doing a lot of catching up these few days. I seriously think life is too short to not make a point to meet up with your girlfriends and see how they are doing in their lives, tho i am mentally and emotionally drained, but in a way where its so fulfilling that you’d think that this is one of the (few) best thing you’ve ever done with your time.

After what seemed like a long time, i am glad our relationship with one another was more than just surviving. There are people, places and events that lead to where we are, people, places and events that we’d prefer to forget or at least pretend to forget for awhile over but in the end, you can slap a pretty label over all our life experiences- like fate. Its how we play the cards life has dealt us, each in our separate lives and how things have worked out for some of us.

But something i read somewhere, no matter how we each potray ourselves, it seems that every relationship has two stories- the edited one to be shared with each other over some rich-brewed, Italian-styled expresso or the unedited one- best not go there. Its not that we are putting up a front with each other, or maybe i was alil bit to be honest. Please forgive me.

I inhale sharply as i continue to think of many unanswered questions in a philosphical sense (my morning sinus is really getting from bad to worst). Not that i spend my every waking moment thinking of serious stuff, in fact, i don’t quite. Anyway, sitting here with my satin pJ pants (which i really adore as these were specially tailor made for me by my mum), there is this void in me that I haven’t been feeling for a very long time. I don’t know if i truly comprehend exactly what i am feeling right now but i consider the possibility that there is something wrong with me. It wasn’t shown on the surface of course and maybe others are probably not aware of it, yet =).

Its Saturday again. The 27th week of 2009. This first half of 2009 has really been a roller coaster ride for me but I realised that I was never in the ride alone.  There were people who jumped right in with me from the start of the ride and with that, i am truly grateful. I wouldn’t have come so far if it weren’t for all of you. Although i cringe every time i think back to how complacent i was or have become in the things i used to find refuge in.  Was the whole fiasco disappointing? Initially it was, very, but now, I think i am more concern about how painful it will be to put on some metalscrap into my mouth when i go back to sitiawan =S.

shit, braces. I will still proceed on this crazy idea if i could gather sufficient courage to even drive to the dentist. Aih, just get over and done with it laa.

I am beginning to love the sound of the airplanes again. This means alot to me. Somethings are better left unchanged (Don’t know why i suddenly picture Russel Peter saying this with his fake chinese accent! haha!!).

8 Responses to “My fiasco”

  1. Hahaha you’ve got a good sense of humour.

    Braces? Man… For how long?

  2. Aurelia Says:

    Braces! Go for it!
    I wore it for 2 years, Su Zhen wore it, Kb wore it…
    Nothing 1 la.. it’s fun to smile with it 🙂

  3. oh right!!!BRACES!

    all the best going through it, dear.i know it’s going to be quite painful. but you’re a strong girl!=)

    wl’s pretty serious considering braces too!yikes!ehehe

  4. Sound of planes? You liked listening to them before?

  5. Debs: that saturday morning i was feeling extremely sarcastic and all =P. Thanks for the books. Mum is reading Joan of Arc! hehe!

    aurelia: how ar??? i am still deciding. I mean i’ve decided already. Just can’t bring myself to the dentist =(.

    mei: haha yeah its going to be darn painful especially when the doc’s going to pull out 4 tooth!! ask wl is he sure??hehe!

    Cc: yessss! i love the planes and the sound of it actually but long story short, i shall explain in the email which i was supposed to reply. How was worship leading last week? =)

  6. well honestly the brace is alright one la..not really tat painful..its just tat u’ll look **** for 2 years and awesome for the rest of your life..and for awesome for the rest of your life, its worth very ounce of the pain…its not tat painful aso.haha

  7. Sandra C Says:

    hey babe
    i so understand the void part and especially the SINUS shit..mine is getting from bad to worst too! i blame it on the haze lah. before this i was ok just like u.
    stay strong!

  8. alan: ugly??heehee! not that bad kua! but i totally agree, awesome for the rest of your life. Hmm somehow your comment here added some courage to my decision. thanks alan =)

    sandra: Yeah the void thingie is quite irritating now that i acknowledged them. But i know it will come and go. Nothing last forever. =)

    my sinus is not too bad. It gets on my nerve, just occasionally =). You take care yea!

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