When our hopes are sorely tested

It began to rain. It rained and it rained.

‘Is it going to rain all day?’

I asked myself as I looked outside while thinking of how stupid one can get for doing their laundry on a rainy day. The initial thunders and lightning weren’t going to prevent me from completing my task. Stupidity  has always been intrinsically linked to stubbornness.

Anway, the rain became more insistent and so was my feeling turning as gray as the clouds could get. I look out the window again and a pout decorated my face.

It is official, I am mildly depressed.

I suspect this has got very little to do with my finals which is starting tomorrow.

Church was good last weekend. I always loved stories about Sarah and Abraham and how God has gone out to test their faith. When our hopes are sorely tested as theirs were, would we run the risk of becoming indifferent? I am already beginning to feel like that.

I took some time off to deviate myself from all the examination stress. One could tell I don’t deal with stress all that well. On this rainy day, once again I shamelessly go to God, telling Him how I feel and how things are on my side. Not that He doesn’t know, in fact he knows exactly how I am feeling, even better than myself.

Tired, sad and depressed,  I resigned to my old self. I was determined at some point that I’ll never come out from this vicious cycle. It somehow doesn’t matter anymore if God was to answer my prayer. But to my credit, I really do trust in Him.

I am just not good with this whole ‘timing’ thing. My problem is the constant unwillingness to wait for God. This really frustrates me as each second passes. Am i willing to relinquish my request, removing my will out of the agenda and allow God to work in my life?

“God is always on time!” I gave up as I let out a loud sigh. There is this deep nagging feeling telling me that it was worth every minute of the wait. Why worry about tomorrow when you faith is on solid rock?

Such a foolish and useless endeavour, don’t you think?

“I am thankful for the rain” I mumbled as I smile to myself on the way out of my house, couple of rain drops drizzled in my eyes and got my pretty hair wet. A few raindrops wouldn’t hurt anyone. I was predictably feeling better again.

One Response to “When our hopes are sorely tested”

  1. hi hi.. just wanna tell u. dun give up no matter wad it is. keep holding on to the solid rock which is christ. and if itz any consolation, ul only get better at dealing with this as God gives u more grace. =)

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