I think of. . . .

I’ve been having trouble sleeping here in Aus. Each night, I will spend a great deal of time rolling on my bed  before I could finally close my eyes. Its probably the weather. Cold and everything. I really don’t know what to say. Why don’t I tell you what I would usually think of  before i go to bed each time.

The time I spend each night thinking of the things I think before I sleep is sometimes the most honest time I have with myself, or with anyone else. I think about my parents, I think about uni, my studies and how challenging my final two sem is going to be. I think about friends. I think about how I’m a friend to them and how they’ve treated me and accepted me as who I am. I think of my past and how my life has been since then. How they have taught me in the next season of my life.I also think of the people I dislike as well. I think of sweet revenge and intense confrontation that revolves around me throwing my thoughts at them, giving them a piece of my mind.

I usually think of what I am going to wear the next day and how am I going to do my hair. I think of that beautiful blue dress I saw in the mall a couple of days before and whether I should purchase them or not. Oh not forgetting the pink cashmere cardigan that I would love to have and that expensive looking black heels I will look overly tall in. I think of my little niece whom I love very much and how much I will miss her when I get back. I think of coming over to Melbourne to do my masters and how challenging it would be to start all over again in a foreign country. I think of how it would be like to be given that sort of opportunity to be independent and to decide something for myself.

I think of how my future would be like. How troubles would melt like lemon drops and somewhere over the rainbow, I could find all my answers.I think of how my wedding would be and how many bridesmaid I would have. I think of the cascading beautiful flowers I would have to fill the entire chapel. And I too, realised, how long it would take for this dream to realise. I think of how I love weddings but stop, each time I think of having another relationship. Too much work and too much heartaches.

I think of the bad times I went through and how it had toughened me up. I think also of how the bad times have really ruined my certain perspectives in life. I think of finding ways to gain back the right picture of life and most importantly, the hope that I’ve lost in it. I think of all the people that are present in my life currently and how they each have contributed to turning my life around. I think of how I would now fight and defend for the things I believe in and the purposes I stand on. I think of my one and only true God. Who loves me no end and see me as none has ever seen before, ready to give me the best that one could ever imagine.

So much to think about in one night huh?Fret not, smile and you’ll find that life is still worthwhile despite it all.

Goodnight and here we go again =)

2 Responses to “I think of. . . .”

  1. Good night 🙂

  2. you think too much lah.lol!
    don’t worry abt anything, God takes care of everything…even things we never thought of.

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